Cuidiú coffee mornings, La Leche League meetings, Sling meets and Nappuccinos are my real life "Bubble". I don't feel strange BFing, co-sleeping, BLWing, using cloth nappies or slings and I feel generally supported in my parenting choices -everyone does things their own way of course but I don't find myself explaining myself. No strange looks. It's lovely to have RL company with so much common ground, "likeminded" people who don't burst my bubble. If they think I'm nuts they haven't mentioned it so far! :P
Somehow I don't remember any details about my first Cuidiú Coffee Morning,
it must have been in Cork.....
We lived in Cork when my 2nd baby was born and there were so many mornings I could go to that I didn't appreciate them at all. There was the Public Health Nurses BFing support group every Monday, a local playgroup on Wednesdays and another on Fridays, La Leche League on the 2nd Friday of the month, Sling meets and Cuidiú coffee mornings. I went to things on days that I felt like going to things and I skipped things if I didn't feel like leaving the house.
When I went back to work it was a little tougher to find things to bring the baby to but I had a good friend who called to visit weekly and there was a La Leche League Toddler Group on Saturdays that I got to usually, especially helpful as my nursling got bigger and I entered unknown territory.
All was well in my world really! :)
*****
Then we moved to Kerry before number 3 was born. DP worked and I was able to be at home with the baby for longer than we could have managed in Cork....so it was a good move.
The social scene was very different in a less densely populated area. There was a local playgroup every second Tuesday. Nobody went to the Public Health Nurse's BFing support group so it wasn't running that winter. La Leche league was going strong - a monthly meeting and then a coffee morning in between. I made it my business to get to LLL if at all possible as I'd felt immediately at home there -it even always started late, perfection. The next closest "morning out of the house" was a 30 mile trip to La Leche League in Tralee - so I did that too!
And that was it!
5 mornings a month I had plans and every other day was spent at home making a mess of the house and then cleaning it up. The evenings were spent on Facebook -the only place for some badly needed grown up company. DP wasn't much company as he worked 6 days a week during the summer months and he was exhausted on his day off and always had a few jobs to catch up on too. Of course we have family in the area but everyone was busy. Nobody, except my 95yo grandmother, happened to be at home all day.
People often ask how/why I did so much on facebook. Why so many groups? The short answer is that I was lonely and had time on my hands to find myself some online company. It's not the same as real life company of course -but it's something and it helped to get me through what was honestly a tough year. I was dying to get back to Cork.
Breastfeeding Mammies in Kerry (Facebook group) had gathered a few Mammies who weren't too far away from me but I really felt there was a need for some real life support in West Kerry, for myself and others finding themselves at home with small children.
Cuidiú coffee mornings seemed like the answer. I got in contact with Cuidiú about setting up a Kerry Branch and at least getting a coffee morning going. I renewed my Cuidiú membership and hosted a coffee morning or two. It meant the "event" could be open to the public and Cuidiú insurance would cover any accidents. The only problem was that dingle is about 30 miles from anywhere and we were about 8 miles further west of An Daingean. We moved our coffee morning to a public venue for the summer months -the Seal Sanctuary in Lispole (now closed) and it was a lovely spot with a playground and healthy food. I also didn't have to clean up for visitors (is that a positive? I thought it was at the time) and we were closer to Tralee/killarney for those traveling from that direction. It was the highlight of my year in Kerry tbh. We left for Cork in late August, just as Tania Lawlor arrived in Kerry and started a regular Cuidiú Coffee morning in her house in Banna - so cuidiu remained in Kerry though we moved on.
In 2014, baby number 4 was born and as we were back in Cork, I had the luxury of all the groups and coffee mornings during maternity leave. I began to think that I'd be missing all this company in a few short months and I was conscious that I'm not the only one who suddenly misses out on all these things on return to work. LLL still do the monthly toddler group in Blackpool but if for some reason I miss that there is an 8 week gap between trips out of the house that are not work related! I could easily lose my mind with nothing to look forward to!
Breastfeeding in Ballincollig (local FB BFing group) had over 50 members at that stage so I figured there might be some interest in a monthly weekend get together and there was. By time I went back to work in April 2015, we'd had 5-6 coffee mornings in various locations and settled on a venue -my house. I had something to look forward to every month when I went back to work, as well as a motivation to clean up the play room a bit and I don't even have to wear shoes. About 5-9 families usually attend and it's very enjoyable. It's the 4th Saturday of the month.
The Cuidiú Weekend Club started up around the same time in the city and is on the second weekend of the month so 3/4 weekends there is a cuidiú/LLL meet up for those who cannot make midweek events. It's fantastic!
Of course Cuidiú isn't all about breastfeeding and coffee mornings are open to all parents (dads included) and children. We try to have a breastfeeding counselor in attendance in Ballincollig for any BFing specific questions but there is always peer support where a BFC is not in attendance. Cuidiú coffee mornings are quite casual - chat, coffee, playing and questions as they arise topics can range from local activities to birth and breastfeeding, recipes and just about anything else! Typically lots of smaller conversations are had and there isn't usually a larger group discussion. LLL offers a more formal structure which has its benefits. There is a LLL leader present to lead the meeting and answer questions. Seats are usually in a circle and there are brief introductions. Even though the toddler meeting doesn't have a specific theme (worldwide monthly LLL meetings have 4 themes that rotate) the leader leads what is usually a very informative discussion about various aspects and experiences of breastfeeding. Everyone is part of that discussion whether listening or contributing. This is followed by coffee and less formal chat. (and for us, a trip to McDonalds if we have time!)
I think that if there is one parent in a more isolated part of the country where there isn't such support -there are likely to be a few more in similar circumstance who could offer each other peer support! We can't all wait around for someone else to organise a meet up. Cuidiú gives an opportunity to invite others to your home without worrying about insurance and it helps to get some information on how to set up a coffee morning and imo it's good to feel part of something bigger. I think the "Breastfeeding Mammies in _____" facebook groups are a great place to start if you are looking for others to meet up with locally.
In 2014, baby number 4 was born and as we were back in Cork, I had the luxury of all the groups and coffee mornings during maternity leave. I began to think that I'd be missing all this company in a few short months and I was conscious that I'm not the only one who suddenly misses out on all these things on return to work. LLL still do the monthly toddler group in Blackpool but if for some reason I miss that there is an 8 week gap between trips out of the house that are not work related! I could easily lose my mind with nothing to look forward to!
Breastfeeding in Ballincollig (local FB BFing group) had over 50 members at that stage so I figured there might be some interest in a monthly weekend get together and there was. By time I went back to work in April 2015, we'd had 5-6 coffee mornings in various locations and settled on a venue -my house. I had something to look forward to every month when I went back to work, as well as a motivation to clean up the play room a bit and I don't even have to wear shoes. About 5-9 families usually attend and it's very enjoyable. It's the 4th Saturday of the month.
The Cuidiú Weekend Club started up around the same time in the city and is on the second weekend of the month so 3/4 weekends there is a cuidiú/LLL meet up for those who cannot make midweek events. It's fantastic!
- 2nd Sat/Sun - Cuidiú City Weekend Club
- 3rd Sat - LLL in Blackpool
- 4th Sat - Cuidiú Coffee in Ballincollig
Of course Cuidiú isn't all about breastfeeding and coffee mornings are open to all parents (dads included) and children. We try to have a breastfeeding counselor in attendance in Ballincollig for any BFing specific questions but there is always peer support where a BFC is not in attendance. Cuidiú coffee mornings are quite casual - chat, coffee, playing and questions as they arise topics can range from local activities to birth and breastfeeding, recipes and just about anything else! Typically lots of smaller conversations are had and there isn't usually a larger group discussion. LLL offers a more formal structure which has its benefits. There is a LLL leader present to lead the meeting and answer questions. Seats are usually in a circle and there are brief introductions. Even though the toddler meeting doesn't have a specific theme (worldwide monthly LLL meetings have 4 themes that rotate) the leader leads what is usually a very informative discussion about various aspects and experiences of breastfeeding. Everyone is part of that discussion whether listening or contributing. This is followed by coffee and less formal chat. (and for us, a trip to McDonalds if we have time!)
We have to appreciate the supports that are here in Cork.
I think that if there is one parent in a more isolated part of the country where there isn't such support -there are likely to be a few more in similar circumstance who could offer each other peer support! We can't all wait around for someone else to organise a meet up. Cuidiú gives an opportunity to invite others to your home without worrying about insurance and it helps to get some information on how to set up a coffee morning and imo it's good to feel part of something bigger. I think the "Breastfeeding Mammies in _____" facebook groups are a great place to start if you are looking for others to meet up with locally.
Why not grow your own bubble!!!!
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